


Q Hates Flying

by 20-million-bees (bonk_fueled)



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, i just couldn't stop thinking about this side of things, i wrote this at midnight, idk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:39:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonk_fueled/pseuds/20-million-bees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q hates flying. Like, really really hates flying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Q Hates Flying

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly idea I had that I really wanted to write down. What if we took a spin on the phrase "Q hates flying."?

James Bond and Q walked down the hallway of the airport, dodging strangers who were all on their way to, no doubt, less important things. Q was obviously  _not_ having a good time, as he huffed every once in a while when someone got too close to the duo.

"Flying is the most inconvenient thing that I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with. Everyone is miserable, there's nothing to do, and you have to listen to children run around like heathens, constantly," Q complained. Here we go, thought James.

"Why do we even have to fly commercial?" Q asked as they made their way to the security gate, "Wouldn't this make us an easy target?"

"We have to blend in, Q," James replied, smiling slightly at the younger man's dissatisfaction.

"We're posing as important business men. You're telling me we couldn't do that in a private jet? And how on earth do you plan on making it past security? You always carry enough hidden weaponry on you to start your own small militia."

"Well Q, darling," James said, finding it hard not to laugh at his boyfriend's peeved quips, "it's not like I don't know how to get weapons on a plane. Besides, all I really need is a tweezers and maybe some scissors to do some real damage."

"Hmph. I suppose," Q caved, crossing his arms.

After that, Q went back to silently fuming, until they had taken their seats by their terminal, and Q looked at the flight schedule.

"Two hours?" Q yelled, exasperated, pointing to their delayed flight, "I can take down governments faster than that!"

"Come on, Q," James pleaded, putting a hand on his shoulder, which, James noticed, was very tense, "surely you have something on your laptop to keep you entertained? Or perhaps you'd prefer some other form of distraction?" James purred, leaning in closer so that his last suggestion was only heard by Q, who groaned slightly.

"Another thing to hate about airports, no privacy."

~

After what actually turned out to be another three hours, Bond and Q found themselves boarding their plane. After a bit of bumping into others and minor aerobics to get their bags in the overhead compartments, the two were finally able to get to their seats, which were at least in first class, which Q was thankful for. At least they weren't posing as possible henchmen to the mobster. Q had been putting finishing touches on a some edits to a program that he had been working on when they were called to board the plane, so he pulled out his laptop to continue his work. After a few minutes, a flight attendant came round and asked that Q put his laptop away.

"Sir? We're going to be taking off soon, so I need to ask that you put away any electronics you may have," she smiled sweetly.

"Fine, just a few more minutes," Q sighed.

"I'm afraid we don't have a few more minutes, sir. Don't worry, it's not like England will fall if you don't have your laptop," she joked as she began walking away. The only thing that prevented a national incident between the nation's Quartermaster and an unwitting flight attendant was Bond holding Q down as he tried his best to hide his laughter.

~

"Jaaaaamessssssssss, I'm so borrrrrrrrrrred," Q complained for the umpteenth time during the flight. Each time the phrase was said, it acquired more length to each syllable. Bond was worried that he'd be able to start timing how long each sentence was if he didn't do something soon. "Planes are so boring, all you can do is sit here and hope a bird doesn't fly into the engine and kill us all. On second thought, I hope that does happen. At least I wouldn't be so bored then."

"Ah, but Q, you'd be dead."

"No I wouldn't. You'd save me," Q said, leaning his head on Jame's shoulder.

"Mmmm, you're right. Why don't you try taking a nap?" James suggested.

"I got a full six hours of sleep last night, there's no way I'm falling asleep now."

"Have you tried watching out the window?"

"Oh yeah I just love looking at miles and miles of clouds, it's so stimulating."

"Read the magazines in the chairs?"

"I ordered a lawn gnome for us."

"You what? No, never mind. Have you listened to anything music or podcasts that you have?"

"Forgot my headphones."

"Sudoku?"

"Finished the book in the car ride to the airport."

"For God's sake Q, I don't know. I could order some alcohol and get you liquored up."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"I probably would," James winked, "perhaps we could try some of those distractions I mentioned earlier, James hummed as he kissed Q.

"But we're on a public airplane," Q reasoned.

"We're in the back of first class, no one will see us," Bond whispered in his ear.

"You certainly have your ways," Q replied, catching Bond's lips.

The rest of the flight passed without incident.

~

"What do you mean they lost my luggage??" Q yelled. James sighed. So close.


End file.
